14/11/08
haihzz... God... dad... mum... sis... dude... sorry again,
i know that i always giving a trouble to you all... these
car accident because of my careless sure will make you all
felt so angry with me, sure you all will say that,:Har???
car accident again??? sigh... really so sorry for that...
i know that i'm a trouble maker... felt ashamed with my self...
but this time, when i crashed towards to (victim) , my mind suddenly
shock without the present of God, i even didn't think wannna
blessed or something to God, not at all, a moment of that, i knew...
i'm lost my God, lost my everything... lost my confidential from my dad,
i know that he has done a lot for me, spent out a lot of
money for my careless before, i know he so tired for nagging at me,
i'm trying to be best, but it's impossible...
but for God, sorry, its been long time didn't keep
connected with God already, since my mum getting worsen, my life was
passed without GOd, among the last post i've remembered,
i've said that, Where's God??? Where're you God???
i'm sacre you know, the moment when i'm alone... scare i'll
lost everything... should i give up with my self???
let my family can passing trough their life peacefully, without
me...trouble maker... can i cry??? why should i cry huh???
not worth to cry for myself, not even have any authorized
to cry!!! have you ever heard a trouble maker were cry for
everything trouble that they done?? why this happen to me... why...
honestly... suicide thinking suddenly come out from my mind...
should it be ... such a night mare for me tonight...
cant sleep at all... cant stop thinking what have i done...
cant... i facing it alone... accompanied by ka Long....
thanks ya Long... you're help me a lot for tonight...
fearness covered me... my heart now felling unwell...
scare for everything... how could it be... hardest times
has come... no people that i can find for share my depression,
can someone take home please~~~:"( ... i want go home~~~
i doesn't take dinner for tonight... no appetide at all...
where should i go.... who should i find.... arrr~~~ gastric~~~
mum...how are you there~~? this greeting suddenly came out my mind...
suddenly wanna ask those with her... and for dad... hey dad,
how are you there?? how was your work?? sorry for the trouble dad...
i dunno what should i say for now... but really so sorry, i know that
you're done well as a part of Good Father... thanks for the love
and care that you gave, i'm so happy and blissful with all the time with you
and also the perfect family that you gave it to my as well...
but maybe i always making trouble again and again, finally,
you're decided to gave up with me... .. . i'm not worth to
become your son... maybe as a worker, i should be worsen than
them...
haihzz... God... dad... mum... sis... dude... sorry again,
i know that i always giving a trouble to you all... these
car accident because of my careless sure will make you all
felt so angry with me, sure you all will say that,:Har???
car accident again??? sigh... really so sorry for that...
i know that i'm a trouble maker... felt ashamed with my self...
but this time, when i crashed towards to (victim) , my mind suddenly
shock without the present of God, i even didn't think wannna
blessed or something to God, not at all, a moment of that, i knew...
i'm lost my God, lost my everything... lost my confidential from my dad,
i know that he has done a lot for me, spent out a lot of
money for my careless before, i know he so tired for nagging at me,
i'm trying to be best, but it's impossible...
but for God, sorry, its been long time didn't keep
connected with God already, since my mum getting worsen, my life was
passed without GOd, among the last post i've remembered,
i've said that, Where's God??? Where're you God???
i'm sacre you know, the moment when i'm alone... scare i'll
lost everything... should i give up with my self???
let my family can passing trough their life peacefully, without
me...trouble maker... can i cry??? why should i cry huh???
not worth to cry for myself, not even have any authorized
to cry!!! have you ever heard a trouble maker were cry for
everything trouble that they done?? why this happen to me... why...
honestly... suicide thinking suddenly come out from my mind...
should it be ... such a night mare for me tonight...
cant sleep at all... cant stop thinking what have i done...
cant... i facing it alone... accompanied by ka Long....
thanks ya Long... you're help me a lot for tonight...
fearness covered me... my heart now felling unwell...
scare for everything... how could it be... hardest times
has come... no people that i can find for share my depression,
can someone take home please~~~:"( ... i want go home~~~
i doesn't take dinner for tonight... no appetide at all...
where should i go.... who should i find.... arrr~~~ gastric~~~
mum...how are you there~~? this greeting suddenly came out my mind...
suddenly wanna ask those with her... and for dad... hey dad,
how are you there?? how was your work?? sorry for the trouble dad...
i dunno what should i say for now... but really so sorry, i know that
you're done well as a part of Good Father... thanks for the love
and care that you gave, i'm so happy and blissful with all the time with you
and also the perfect family that you gave it to my as well...
but maybe i always making trouble again and again, finally,
you're decided to gave up with me... .. . i'm not worth to
become your son... maybe as a worker, i should be worsen than
them...
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