29thNovember08

yeah!!! i got my new hair style for today ne,
even that no really nice, hmmm... but at least
better than previous style ler...
anyway, its really make me more
comfortable actually, without
that itchy hair making trouble,
cox when i think again,
i'd be more smarter than
before... lol... okie okie, no
more boasting okie...
sniff~~~
well, just now when i went to
town, purposely went for
hair cutting de, but when i reached
there around 4pm, wow,
there's too many customer 're
waiting for their turn, hmmm..
i think around 10 guys was
sat in front the saloon ne... ok,
i can't stand for that turn
anymore, then i get a ride
to mile 8 for others saloon, Yippie!!!
i found it finally before 5pm ne...
because of my mum honestly,
nagging around my ear, said that
my hair was too long, enough for
joining the part of terrorist...
how dare her... ~!@#$%^&*( ...
anyway, just thank to Mui Liang bro,
for his miracle hand cutting for my hair...
lol... OPSSSS.... there're few things
that i wanna share with you all
for today, hmmm... never mind, i'll
share it in the next post
.... if i still remember... lolx...

arr... tired day...

what would i blog for today huh??
what a tired day for me ne...
we got a planed that been organized
by our church... visiting to agape center...
what's mean by agape center huh???
agape means by God's love, and these
kind of center is built for
those abnormal people to study
and keep closing with
community in this country...
maybe because of their
thinking are definitely different
from normal people... i not really know
why... but i can say that i really so proud
with those teacher that became volunteer
and gave a lot of vitalize to those
abnormal people to keep strength in vitality
for their life...
this kind of work need a lot
of love and energy to push them
go towards to God and sure with them self also...
but for me, i can't... too difficult for me,
even just take care with my mum
now, i getting flushes than before,
so i know that i'm failed to become
volunteer at there... lol...
we finished our visiting sharply at 12pm, ya
i guess so... thats not important ne..
after that, few of us , i mean, my those friends
that followed with that visiting, plan to having a
lunch before step to home's door,
sure i would agree with them... ikiki...
anyway, all of them quite passion
geh... hmmm, yuan, dick, ching, yan ni, yan rong, henry
, puppet, loong, arrr... too many to list it
out ... we have our dishes in Taiwan Restaurant
Uh lala... great dishes ! Praboooo!!! top one in sandakan...
haha... okie!!! enough for that...
next...
at noon... hmmm, i think around 3pm,
ling, li keat and me having a tea time at
jesselton Coffee there for two hours++ wow...
bler bler bler... chatting without fullstop...
keep on talking, haha, quite funny with
those action too...
thanks to them again, coz really
so enjoyed with all of them for today, it's
worth for my tirednesssssss... since my mum
was entered to hospital, my time getting
dropped mostly to drived along to KK
all the time, never take a rest or time for my
self, just keep on hiding
myself for the others that really
concern about me, but i rejected them...
worry that willing to give a lot of trouble
to them, instead, maybe will become
the annoys one... jerk Biao... haha..
no more worries for now... coz i know,
i need all of them to keep my life
become wonderful... thanks all of
you!!!

day with cousin...

wow... such a great day for today...
oh yeah!!! we hangging around with my
eldest cousin( yang) ne... what a supremely
way during we go out together for today...
my these cousin actually
so nice de, but maybe because of ages
was separated us from getting
closer with other... i still remember
when i was around Form 1, we always
played around without my mum's
permission, and i never request
any permission from my
mum actually, lol... what the terrible
activities during that time
is towards to cyber cafe for internet
games, honestly dumbing was covered
us all the time ne, thats not actually
internet games, just a stupid lan games
for Counter Strike games only, how stupid
that i was ... so same as with my bro(cousin) too...
lol... but thats just an entertainment for us
that was seeking for fun around...
yeah, we always getting out actually,
mostly at noon de, coz our mum was
take a noon nap all the noon time ne... hahaha... oMigOsh
such so naughty kids that we 're... thinking
with ass without an normally brain.. ish...
but honestly, so glad that
having a cousin such a bro for me,
maybe because that i'm the only
son in my family, instead, i not really
closed with my both sis... aging problem
also... but nevermind, it doesn't matter for long lasting,
but it's matter for behave it before...

getting stranger...

well... what a terrible day for me ne...
what i supposed to talk with them, actually
with churches friends, at noon i got go to church
for looking around, just see whether got
something to do for me or not de, hmmm...
ya, i know that such been long time din go to church
for any function, but thats not my plan actually, i can't attend
to church causing by no transport to reach there ne,
i felt that our friendship was getting far with each
other, maybe all of them doesn't noticed about
that... for me, i care a lot with this friendship...
just now when i reached to church for hanging
around, they look me like a stranger, you all still can
talk even during do your work, but why dont you all
give a short greeting for me??? am i really look
damn and annoying for you all??? did i ???
please tell me what actually happens, don't make
me felt weird with myself, sitting at there just
like a fool , no one would concern about that,
not at all, how could it be??? am i changed or you all?

alot of people have been asking me am i happy recently

am i?

i dont really know.

if i say i am,then i should back to church
for fogiveness

I'm trying to persuade myself

Thinking that its really not my fault...but i know there 's
a lot of conflic and misunderstood
between us, i know even that our
friendship weren't everlasting

you should'nt shout out such so words to me...
have you ever care with my comfort and concern
that i gave it to you all???
you should think that twince...
i 'm not a beggar you know, i don't really need
you pityness, and i never beg that from you all..
i just want you all appreciated with
our friendship... i should know
this since started... i knew that i've done a lot of mistake...
raining heavily outside there,
i knew it cry for my part as well...
i knew it... thanks ...

arrr!!! raining ne...

arrr... i'm getting crazy with this rain ne...
since the school holiday was started, the wheather
started worsen than before, hmmm, many
of outdoor activities was cancelled because of it...
ARR!!! i hate it so much, that really make me felt more
boring at home, unable to do anything
at home, except online-ing... just stucking
into online world since this few month... oh ya, just now
my car was fixed, they allowed me to drive it back and
paid rm400 for insurance fee actually,
but nevermind, at least they all can fixed it
instantly, really thanks to my uncle that
helped me a lot during accident ne...
thats why my car can fixed in instant period,
thanks ya uncle Fa !!!

today Ling told me that she quite nervous
to sit for her STPM paper ne...hmmm, i know
her felt actually, thats what normally people's respond
geh, so just that in easy girl, and keep Gambateh in your
exam ya !!! so on wi li Keat too oh, instead, i not really
worry with liKeat, coz she was clever enough liau de ne.. lol
so just keep with your intelligent ya !!!

other side, for the spm student ne, dick,
meteor and also henry, hope all of them can get
a Good result for their exam oh, yeah !! Good luck for them !!!

raining dayzzz #2

rain rain rain... sigh... what actually wreck on sky there huh???
do have people can go to take something stitch it up???
i hate raining ne... thats really make people felt lazy and sleep...
arrrrr... instead always make people felt hungry ne... no way!!!
i can't stand for hungry even just a minute!!! lol...
hmmm.... started boring now, no car, no money, no bud, no entertain
no for everything, but absolutely waiting for christmas eve...
hope everything was going smoothly ne... and between, i dunno
whether i can get back my car or not, ok, they still fix it ne... in the
progress i guess... it wasn't hard for me... i still can
keep going my life without car ne... lol... but really aboundantly thanks
to everyone that concerned all the way i faced with
trouble, hehe... thanks ya guy !!! and also wont ever forget
with my bro, ( yang) cousin lol... he's the most closest relative between
our family ne... muackszzz!
life was getting hard than before, a lot of energy needed to
passing trough with this terrible life, but if we use
a different sight to see this life, supremely, our life sure
won't really so terrible de... lol.. so, just keep on going ya !!!
Cheer up everyone !!!!

na see !!! just take a look what actually happens to my car
after that accident... worse enough right??? lol...

busy talk...

talk talk talk... thats what can i do
everyday actually with my sis.. .. ..
but for today, Ling suddenly called me
to having a lunch together...
yeah!! thanks to Ling once again that
spending a time...
we talk a lot about our friends that
we always hangging around before... Li keat,
hung pak, Khen, and also sue Kiun...
they changed a lot, till we cannot
believed with their changed... haihzzz...
hope they won't ever forget with us
as friends... sigh...
dunno whether we can get the chance to gather
together again at christmas eve this year...
hope to see they soon... coz i really got a lot of things
that wanna share with them... hey Guys...
miss you all a lot ne !!!

100th Anniversary !!!

yippie !!! happy 100th anniversary for the 100th post
ne!!! hooray !!! wow... thats really make me felt so proud
with myself... hehe... time is getting late, felt
sleepy liau ne, but i really got something that wanna share about,
today, hung pak told me that Khen decided to stop from
continuing his study at form 6, he now willing to keep on
working as assistant supervisor at Jesselton Coffee there...
haihzz.. his decision really make me felt crazy ne, we all
were promised that gonna continue our study for the next year untill
we graduate with diploma certificate... haihzzz... i started
felt embrassing with myself, no purpose... compare with Khen,
i'm loser, cannot even that any chance to improve myself,
khen doesn't want to continue his study because of he wanna
earn more money... but izzit too early to do so ???
hung and me just keep on thinking what should we do, we both
gonna explore ne... no idea... no way... thats not the right thinking
actually... if we didn't study for further certificate, sure we won't ever
get a good vacancy for the future, or maybe salary is the
fact that making us become book worm for the previous year...
everyone sure got their own thinking, own life, own things,
own for everything... so, we can't judge anyone, instead, we
must do our part as well, no rob, no kill... important is we
won't ever regret what we have decided, coz there's no way
to return anymore... thats what i always mention about always...
hope he won't regret what have he decided... Good luck for him...
cheer up Guy !!! and sure good luck with me and hung pak too...
coz we 're those victim among the victim.. lol.. so... Gambateh !!!

99th post!!!

wow.. it's getting to 100th post for my blogger site ne...
yippie !!! one more post to reach for 100th post
anniversary ne...
wow... it's getting long way to go actually...
coz life was getting harder than before ne, so
for me, it was a nice begining...
after a long trip of my life was passed...
hmmm... long time didn't blogging ne, causing
from moody day after the car crashed night...
haihzz... my car haven't fix yet... expect two weeks
to fix it prefectly, thats why i cannot having my
plan to take a time at Jesselton coffee with my those
bud... luckily able to online-ing with my celcom
broadband at home... but, there's a bit problem with
my this network connection, it've been four months
i didn't take a pay for monthly payment for this
service... oh gosh... how can it be??!! lol... ikiki....
never mind ler, just take it easy anyway... lol...

an early birthday celebration For yi tse... susu...

thanks again

16/11/08
once again... my tears was dropped slidely...
my mum was having a called with me just now,
nothing was happen to her actually, perhaps,
i'm the person that needed a lot of comfort and
caring as much ... my mum told me to be strong,
she said, don't ever give up with God because of
her disease... sigh... i'm the one that need
to heal actually...
today... there've a lot of churches come to visited
me, maybe because of my absent to church and accident
that i faced... thanks to them aboundantly, especially
Ken Fo, jun Cheng, yuan yuan, YI sze, Yi Xing, jing jing,
Henry, jun Kit, Aunty Yan and her husband, uncle chong
and also tai Vui... thanks to you all once again, and also
rev Yuan, coz he got a Called with me last night...
we talk a lot, thats really make me felt more
peacefully...so on with My best Friend, Hung Pak,
thanks ya bud!! you really help me a lot, just with
your all prayed, thats really so useful and
enough for me... i'm so satisfied with this blessed
so much.... its up to God... Let God lead all the way
of mine... God, please guide me to your way...

passed away...

15/11/08
hi... is me again oh... biao biao ne... hmmm... i think you all sure know what
actually happens to my family and also with me right ??? hehe... honestly,
let me tell you all with new buletins that happens for today... my dog is passed away..
i'm really so upset with my doggy's death... haihzzz... you know what i think
during that time??? my heart just keep on thinking that wht It wanna leave me
alone huh??? last night, it just keep on looking at me such a long time,
but i really didn't realized that what actually happens to it... i really sso
miss with it so much, all the way my lonely time, it always stayed beside me, never
make me angry instead always keep on making me happy...i now as far as now, it
really is a good dog pet in our life ,it become a part of our family, as our cutty
sister, thats what we called it, even that it can't talk, but we know that
it already done it's job as a lovely pet as well... but, really so sorry that
we cann't bury it to a better place, but hope to see it in Heaven one day,
hey our dear Dog, wait us in heaven there k... you're always in our heart
and mind... love "you"so much... take care at heaven there ya !!!! Father in heaven,
please help us to take care with our Dog ya!!! coz it's really is a nice dog...
hope it really have a peaceful day in Heaven... bye bye my dog... tears for dog again...
miss "you"so much...

drop again ne...

14/11/08
drop again...first tears dropped for my God,
coz He has such a terrible son in this
world...
second dropped, for my dad, coz he has such
unforgivable son in this world, this is an
ashamed matter in his life.... once again,
i want to say sorry to my lovely daddy...
dad... sorry for what have i done, my careless
always brang a lot of trouble to you...
thrid dropped, for my mum, coz i never take care of
her as well since she was in hospital strugglling
with her cancer diseases... instead, always
giving her a lot of worries with me...
sorry mum...
fourth dropped, for my friends... they should felt shamed
with me, coz i'm always missed with my promises
with them, sorry my friends...
hey Raining rain, can You cry for the
part of mine??? please... there's heavily
raining at outside of my house, so embrassing with
myself hoonestly...

car accident again... sigh...

14/11/08
haihzz... God... dad... mum... sis... dude... sorry again,
i know that i always giving a trouble to you all... these
car accident because of my careless sure will make you all
felt so angry with me, sure you all will say that,:Har???
car accident again??? sigh... really so sorry for that...
i know that i'm a trouble maker... felt ashamed with my self...
but this time, when i crashed towards to (victim) , my mind suddenly
shock without the present of God, i even didn't think wannna
blessed or something to God, not at all, a moment of that, i knew...
i'm lost my God, lost my everything... lost my confidential from my dad,
i know that he has done a lot for me, spent out a lot of
money for my careless before, i know he so tired for nagging at me,
i'm trying to be best, but it's impossible...
but for God, sorry, its been long time didn't keep
connected with God already, since my mum getting worsen, my life was
passed without GOd, among the last post i've remembered,
i've said that, Where's God??? Where're you God???
i'm sacre you know, the moment when i'm alone... scare i'll
lost everything... should i give up with my self???
let my family can passing trough their life peacefully, without
me...trouble maker... can i cry??? why should i cry huh???
not worth to cry for myself, not even have any authorized
to cry!!! have you ever heard a trouble maker were cry for
everything trouble that they done?? why this happen to me... why...
honestly... suicide thinking suddenly come out from my mind...
should it be ... such a night mare for me tonight...
cant sleep at all... cant stop thinking what have i done...
cant... i facing it alone... accompanied by ka Long....
thanks ya Long... you're help me a lot for tonight...
fearness covered me... my heart now felling unwell...
scare for everything... how could it be... hardest times
has come... no people that i can find for share my depression,
can someone take home please~~~:"( ... i want go home~~~
i doesn't take dinner for tonight... no appetide at all...
where should i go.... who should i find.... arrr~~~ gastric~~~
mum...how are you there~~? this greeting suddenly came out my mind...
suddenly wanna ask those with her... and for dad... hey dad,
how are you there?? how was your work?? sorry for the trouble dad...
i dunno what should i say for now... but really so sorry, i know that
you're done well as a part of Good Father... thanks for the love
and care that you gave, i'm so happy and blissful with all the time with you
and also the perfect family that you gave it to my as well...
but maybe i always making trouble again and again, finally,
you're decided to gave up with me... .. . i'm not worth to
become your son... maybe as a worker, i should be worsen than
them...

nice lone~~

yummy !!! this is the new dishes at
JC de, bolognese spegetti ne... yum yum !!!
but quite expensive ne...
these moment, i sit alone ne, coz shun, chien them no free
at all.. lol...
single post@@@ haha...

is it true?

aneyoung~~~ weird day for me... raining again... while the time
was passing slowly, rain crying the part of mine
as well that i can't do it by myself... still struggle
with the question in the last few post ago... where's God actually...

is it true? sigh...

stepped into church again...

the night i stepped into church...
sadness started covered me...

JC~~~ arr....

haha... currently at Jc Again ne... but this time, joining by JC 's supervisor and Khen ne... hehe...
lucky ne... yippie!!~

night at JC

yippie !!! new Blueberry Cheese Cake again ne!!!
yeah !!! i like it so much ne!!! yum yum !!!
yup ! currently at Jc now le.. why?
hmmm, felt so bored when just staying alone at home
actually, i'm so sick with this life liau de ne...
but what can i do, thats my life for now, life alone for my daily life,
my day , my night, also
won't influence by any matters that can
damage my single life de.... hehe... but for now, JC can consider
as my second home, coz that is no way to go....
church??? nope, thats really make me felt unwell
everytime when i was attending at there...
haihzz... no more faithful, or even mercy at church... just
have those stupid memory with churches...

where are you God...

hi!!! currently at Hospital QE kk here, aiksss...
ready for my bed time actually, at car here,
the car seats already is my bed since i started
step my first step at KK here, ya, i knw that
sleep inside car is not a good idea, but i just
want to save those hotel pay for futher uses actually,
instead, i'm not rich de, so poor, thats why need to
become saver ne... lol....
anyway, thats what can i do for my family,
listening to the songs, thats what i'm doing right now,
no entertaint for me at KK here, just came here
for visiting my mum, alone again...
there's no way to go actually, thats why i got to
stay at car here for whole night, hope i can get a
nice sleep just like an usual sleep at my own bed...
haizz... so bored at here, what can i see at here,
just a few secured guard guarding around parking lot
at hospital here, raining, cars, buildings, nurses,
doctor waliking around, visitors... but i'm the
only one that laying in front the seat at car here,
waiting for fall asleep, my wish, my hope, my pray,
not an importance matters for me again, there's no
reason to asume me to do so... not at all...
sometimes i just think what should i do everytimes when
i facing with this kind of situation... hmmm...
really no idea for that, depression was covering me
right now sharp at this time... time was passing slowly
... too slow... where are You God... .. .